There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25)
The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him. (Proverbs 18:17)
Detective stories fascinate us. Agatha Christie’s Murder on the Orient Express, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, or the recent murder mystery movie Knives Out –– they all keep us looking out for … well, we don’t know quite what! In the end, even though we’ve heard the same story four or five times over, it doesn’t really come together until Poirot, or Holmes, or Benoit Blanc lays it all out. And that’s good! You wouldn’t enjoy the story of a detective who listens to the first two witnesses, makes up his mind, and delivers his judgment without hearing any of the others. How much less in real life!
This year has felt like mystery upon mystery without a detective. Have you noticed how frustrated the witnesses in these stories get with each other? They can hardly bear being in the same room together. Each is so convinced in his own mind; each explodes with confidence in what she knows what’s right. But what sets the witnesses apart from the detectives is that detectives will always hear another side: fully, patiently, intensely.
Lately I’ve met many people throwing up their hands and refusing to hear another side. Why is that? Why do we refuse to listen to another perspective? Often our emotions rule us: it’s not that we can’t hear another side, it’s that we don’t want to. We’ve given our verdict and it’s too precious to be slowed down or questioned by another story. It’s time to act, not listen! We write others off in the interest of urgency and outrage. Yet if we have made the time to read even this article this far, we have the time to hear someone else out. In our haste, our hurry, our self-righteousness, we will miss insights that would direct our efforts more usefully, or possibly change our minds. God forbid that we should follow the way that seems right to us … to death!
I also see folks give up on hearing others out with the excuse, “I’ve heard both sides already, and I know which one I’m on.” But our issues aren’t all two-sided like a coin. What if there’s a third side to the issue? A fourth perspective, or even a fifth? How quickly we boil our beautiful, mystery-filled world, in all of its dimensions and complexity, down to “either them or us.” Before we grab our detective hat and run to the door, before we lower our gavels in our hearts’ courtrooms, we must be the wiser and listen up as other witnesses take the stand.
You and I both have pet peeves about things that others commonly misunderstand. We roll our eyes when someone tells us “they get it,” but we know they’re wet behind the ears and they’ve decided to learn the hard way. We’re frustrated when they throw up their hands at us and walk away before even scratching the surface, indignant about how complicated something is!
But may God in His grace keep us from being the ones throwing up our hands. May we stay at the table. May we hear another side of the same story, one more time. May we hear not only to be smarter, but to be more gracious, more understanding and increasingly wise.
kitbogan 